POST # 13 : THE SYDNEY OPERA

The century of international centuries waited for Tendulkar at the Sydney Cricket Grounds (SCG) where India was supposed to avenge the Melbourne defeat. After all, Tendulkar himself had said that the SCG was his favourite ground away from home. This test was also the 100th test between both the countries and Zaheer, Yadav, Ishant and Ashwin celebrated the occasion by conceding more than 100 runs each in the 2nd innings.



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Gambhir was out cheaply. After Gambhir’s concussion after the fall while going for the catch off Pieterson in England, he is not the same person on and off the field. We were informed that the resulting blurred vision was creating a big problem for him and he was not able to recognize people in the dressing room, in the streets and almost everywhere. He confuses the senior members of the team with coach Duncan Fletcher, as they are almost the same age now. The last time the West Indian Team was touring India, the problem was so bad that he mistook Kangana Ranaut for Michael Holding.

Virender Sehwag's abysmal performance with the bat was a cause of concern, for which Fletcher decided to rekindle his form by showing him some old footage of his previous tours of Australia, but Viru being Viru concentrated on the part of the video focusing on the thick mop of hair he had then. This ultimately aggravated things for India, with his getting out just as he was looking good. Viru has been inspired by the video, however, and it will be used at his next hair transplant. Sachin dragged his 100th century further by dragging a Pattinson delivery on to his stumps. It looks like Afridi has got some prophetic powers, for he was the one who said that "Sachin's century will have to wait" just before the World Cup 2011 match against Pakistan. Now only if  miya Afridi could tell us when Sachin will score his 100th International 100 and while he’s at it, he could also tell us when baby Bachchan will get a name, and when Arjun Rampal would start acting. In return we promise that we will not laugh at his English at the next post match presentation party.

Rahul Dravid showed tremendous improvement in his batting by not getting bowled this time, thus silencing his critics that he had chinks in his defence after having been bowled three out of four times in this series.
 Zaheer, Ishant and Umesh got out on ducks as they thought that it was better if they could get Australia in to bat while the wicket still had some sting in it. Team India took it upon themselves to aggravate the miseries of Cricket Australia who were waiting to drop Ponting and Hussey by allowing Ponting and Hussey to  regain  their form. Clarke's 329 not out meant that Indians got out in the pavilion itself in the 4th innings. 

Ashwin batted well though, and looked good enough to replace Laxman, whose  "vanvaas" from the team looked more imminent until he scored a half century in the 4th innings and his "maryada purushottam" elder brother Dravid kept getting foxed by Ravan Hilfenhaus and his gang. 

After the humiliating defeat Dhoni looked as cool as Munaf Patel would when asked to calculate the asking rate. Dhoni opined that, “…the team was improving by the day. In the 1st match we could not manage to score 400 runs in an innings and  we  managed to do it here. Its  a psychological victory over Clarke who managed only 329 as  opposed to our score of 400 in 2nd innings. If we were to play a 10 match test series, we would definitely draw the last match."

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Ever the optimist, Dhoni continued: “Even though Gambhir mistakenly said "Hi Mr. Holding" again today, this time it turned out to be Mugdha Godse, thus showing remarkable improvement in his vision. Mughda  was quite flattered. Also, these matches getting over in 4 days has helped the team to be a cohesive unit" , said he, dismissing the claims of a rift in the team. He said the extra day was spent in some team bonding exercises where Gambhir and Sehwag went to deliver a DVD of the Hindi version of the flick "Dunston Checks In" to Andrew Symonds sent specially by Bhajji as a goodwill gesture. Apparently Symonds is trying to learn Hindi as it is going to help him understand the Mumbai Indians think tank better. Viru told him the Hindi version is titled "Ek bandar hotel ke andar" and went to translate it but timely intervention in form of an elbow nudge by Gambhir prevented the Indian opening pair getting socked by the burly Australian. In retrospect, Dhoni felt that perhaps Gambhir need not have been so concerned, going by their unimpressive opening performances in the test series so far.

 
Dhoni rubbished my suggestion that Ishant does not use his height to get that extra bounce. “Ishant's height  is  an asset to the team. The last time the light bulbs in the high ceiling hotel room fused we didn't have to call the electrician or send for the ladder. And when we travel, who do you think puts the cabin luggage in the overhead compartments?"