25 Sep 2011


Dhoni lead Indian cricket team gave a complete miss to the most prestigious annual cricketing function- the ICC Awards; which  sparked a new controversy in the cricketing circles!

A fuming Haroon Lorgat, the CEO of ICC blamed the BCCI for not ensuring Team India's attendance. Our sources add that Haroon Lorgat was expecting the Indian contingent to be present in full strength to cheer the already jaded Indian cricket team. Once the crowd realised that the Indian team was not attending the awards function, they quietly started leaving the hall, much to the embarrassment of Mr.Lorgat.

With hardly any people in the hall, it resembled a cinema hall where a Uday Chopra movie was running! In fact, with such a kind of hostile reaction from the crowd, we are told,  Mr. Lorgat himself started looking like Uday Chopra!

Haroon Lorgat looked as angry as Suneil Shetty usually does when his screen sister is kidnapped by the screen goons. He said it's a 'shame' that the Indian cricket team did not attend such a function!! Now Mr. Lorgat if non-attendance is a shame, then what is 4-0 whitewash at the hands of English cricket team?

Mr.Lorgat being originally from India, should have done well to remember that one has to appease the Indian cricket team and the management to make such an event  successful.  Remember what happened to the World Cup in West Indies when India bowed out in the early stages of the tournament?  In fact that year, people were so disappointed that they decided to forget their sorrows by doing something more painful! That is....watch a Tusshar Kapoor movie!! Indian fans made a beeline at the theatres for Tusshar's movie, and his films made a brisk business for a change!

With the kind of English Tour India has had for the past two months, it was a foregone conclusion that hardly any Indian team cricketers would win an award!  But win they did! The ICC 'Spirit Of Cricket Award' was lapped up by Dhoni for recalling Ian Bell at Trent Bridge after he was given out by the umpires!!. Of course, another consolation for India was Sachin Tendulkar being the only Indian cricketer to find a place in ICC Test XI of the year.

Mr Lorgat's ICC, hold your breath, appointed  Kumar Sangakara as the captain and the wicketkeeper of the ICC Test XI, when he doesn't perform both the duties for Sri Lanka!  And Mr.Nasseer Hussain, you thought  there are a couple of donkeys only in the Indian team?

Here are a few suggestions of new categories of awards for Mr.Haroon Lorgat and his team at ICC if they want team India to attend such functions:

1. The ICC Award for the best cricketer for 'SPIRIT' before and after the game: Rohit Sharma may just lose this one to Yuvraj Singh or Jesse Ryder as his broken finger cannot allow him to hold his drink properly...

2. The Best Spinner with a Fast Bowling Action: All three nominations will be from India- 1) R.Vinay Kumar  2) Munaf Patel 3) Praveen Kumar
The jury members for this award would be: 1) Venkatesh Prasad 2) Madan Lal, and 3) Mohinder Amarnath.

3. Cricketer who is Opposition's Delight: Harbhajan Singh for giving so much batting practice to the English Cricket Team in the test matches itself  that they could skip the net practice and go partying in their spare time! In fact Bell & Peterson Co. went into depression when Harbhajan was sent home.

4. The Player with the Worst Injury: Nominations are 1) Gautam Gambhir 2) Zaheer Khan 3) Sachin Tendulkar 4) Rohit Sharma and 5) Harbhajan Singh.
    Gambhir had a concussion after he had a fall and had a blurred vision which made him mistake Sreesanth for Michael Holding and on this count itself he would beat the other contenders!

5. Fastest Bowler ever to run on the field with drink bottles  without playing a single match: There are 5 nominations and would you believe, all from India?: 1) Varun Aaron  2) Varun Aaron 3) Varun Aaron 4) Varun Aaron  5) Varun Aaron

The winner in the above category will be announced by the Chairman of the Selection Committee, K. Srikanth, after online and SMS Voting and this winner is going to be the surprise package of the event!

Please try these categories Mr. Haroon Lorgat....  Even Lalit Modi won't be able to come up with such a recipe for success!! ;)

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